what happened to us? you never used to be like this, so why are you treating me this way? i've done everything you've ever wanted and all i've gotten was your attitude, spite and hatred. do you really hate me that much? do i really make you this angry?
just tell me why god damn it, and i'll leave you alone forever.
he sat silently there, and looked straight ahead, thinking things he wasn't sure on, what he wanted to say so badly, but couldn't. he mouthed something to her, and she spat at him.
just be a man and grow some, tell me why. she gasped with heavy tears trailing down her face leaving a glowing path from her wet eyes. they were the eyes he saw and the ones that pierced through him. the ones that observed but didn't judge, the ones that saw him for him and not who was trying to be. the ones that would see who he would be in a month, a year, a decade of his life. the ones he wanted to wake up in the morning with. she wasn't a morning person though. so maybe midafternoon.
he smiled at this thought, and she raged. content with nothing he was feeling now, he straightened up before standing. he looked at her, into those piercing orbs and raised his arms around her. into a warm embrace while she was standing shocked her mouth wordlessly muttering.
it was home, it was heart it was everything he wanted in life but couldn't have. something he never looked for but instead found him and made him want it, need it, and lunge for it when he saw it leaving. it was love. the first time too, but this was the real thing.
so he looked into the deep expanse of her, and said.
i didn't want to lose you. i figured that, even if i couldn't have you, being by your side is enough. and i wanted to be there for you. even if it wasn't me. even if it was never me. we met by chance, but i think this is what the call fate. i had a choice, and it wasn't an easy one. it was one that i chose because i wanted to follow you. if man can make his destiny, then i chose you to be a part of it.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
quotes
is this the peace and serenity i've prayed all my life to find? the love that i was looking since that day, and thought i had lost my shot at it forever?
random quotes i wanna use
"i'm sorry, but right now my life is headed in a direction that i don't know, that i don't wanna know, and one that i have no control over. it's a dark and scary road that i haven't the slightest idea in the outcome, you understand that don't you?"
"yes, i'm sorry. i just thought after everything we've been through, everything we've seen and said and done, you'd just feel differently."
"... i love you, and i want to be by your side"
"then why don't you come with me? be with me? isn't that what you want?"
"after what you've done, and everything you didn't say that's when i have to say, no i won't go with you, i can't be with you, and it's not what i want anymore."
"so what do you want then?"
"i want everything the way it was"
"you know that can't happen, you can't just ask God for a redo of everything! stop acting like a child you know? just grow up and live, and do what you wanna do."
"even if that means stop loving you?"
she faltered, what he said had caught her off guard and pierced her in her heart. the words that left his mouth speeding so fast through her ears she could barely make sense of it from the initial shock of what he did say. he struggled to find the words, even though it was a single word of three letters.
"y-yes." she finally muttered. "if that's what you wanna do"
he cracked a smile on his face, a little off for the occasion of what he told her. grinning, he said slyly "well thank god, that's not what i wanna do"
starting with a slow chuckle, she started to laugh and looked back into his deep brown eyes, this was really it she though.
"i love you"
"i love you too"
"yes, i'm sorry. i just thought after everything we've been through, everything we've seen and said and done, you'd just feel differently."
"... i love you, and i want to be by your side"
"then why don't you come with me? be with me? isn't that what you want?"
"after what you've done, and everything you didn't say that's when i have to say, no i won't go with you, i can't be with you, and it's not what i want anymore."
"so what do you want then?"
"i want everything the way it was"
"you know that can't happen, you can't just ask God for a redo of everything! stop acting like a child you know? just grow up and live, and do what you wanna do."
"even if that means stop loving you?"
she faltered, what he said had caught her off guard and pierced her in her heart. the words that left his mouth speeding so fast through her ears she could barely make sense of it from the initial shock of what he did say. he struggled to find the words, even though it was a single word of three letters.
"y-yes." she finally muttered. "if that's what you wanna do"
he cracked a smile on his face, a little off for the occasion of what he told her. grinning, he said slyly "well thank god, that's not what i wanna do"
starting with a slow chuckle, she started to laugh and looked back into his deep brown eyes, this was really it she though.
"i love you"
"i love you too"
B1:Prologue
It was a clear and tranquil day, one perfect for enjoying the beautiful beaches of Kailua with shimmering clear water, warm sun, sand and a cool breeze. It was the perfect day, he thought to himself, you would've loved to go to the beach today. He held back his thoughts as he looked over the horizon out into the deep blue sea. I never thought it'd end like this baby, I never thought my life could change so much. But I've done everything you've wanted and this is the last thing. I'll love you forever.
The man silently burst into tears as he stood there overlooking the bay, dressed elegantly in a tuxedo, slacks and tie despite the warm weather. Behind him was a somber crowd of people, dressed similarly and the aura of loss and sadness hung like a heavy fog among them. One woman had done nothing but bawl into a handkerchief as her husband gently guided her by her elbow.
He looked back at the crowd and decided it was time, time to spread her ashes as she had wanted. How fast had the ceremony and cremation gone, only this morning and yet the noon sun was shining fiercely upon them all sweltering them in playful heat. As if the world was saying that it was all a joke, that there's no way there could be a funeral on a beautiful day like this. But there was, and it was a curious one at that.
"I feel a part of the ocean, so let me fly over it and let me become a part of it."
Those were the very last words she said when she heard her fate. Her last words about her future anyway, other than the regret of a life too soon ended and the endless string of 'I love you.' Everything had changed for both of them, and yet, here he was alone holding the weight of the world on his shoulders, unknowingly and unwittingly feeling more fragile and alone that he ever thought was possible.
He approached two people that he met three times before, her parents. It was a bit awkward as he came closer to the sobbing mother, and the comforting father. She bawled into her handkerchief while her husband stroked her hand, and gently patted her back from time to time. The tears were streaming down her face, now grown with age, but it was a kind face, one that had seen the life and worth in her daughter that had died less than a week ago.
Had it been a week, he thought. Everything just blurred right past him the days becoming one long chain of events, and his consciousness not separating anything more significant than a change of his own life. His boss had heard the news and gave him time off, but it was maddening him and he came back to work, against the requests of everyone he knew. But that's all he knew he could do for now, to keep himself occupied, since it was all still surreal. Even now, he thought, I can't believe she's gone.
"It's time," he stated sorrowfully, and he motioned for her urn. The urn that was filled less than three hours ago with her remains, and her mother burst out sobbing even louder among the crowd. Her father had tightened his face, as if there was nothing more painful he had ever experienced in his life, but he remained silent and strong for his wife's sake and not so much his own.
"This is for you," he whispered to the blowing wind. And gently, he uncovered the urn holding the ashes of his cremated fiance, took a small handful and tossed it into the breezing wind that swept over the bay and far far far into the endless sapphire expanse.
One by one, each attendant in black took a handful, whispered their goodbyes, wishes, aspirations, sorrows, and wisdom to themselves, and released her to the earth. And one by one they each turned and got into their cars to drive off.
The man silently burst into tears as he stood there overlooking the bay, dressed elegantly in a tuxedo, slacks and tie despite the warm weather. Behind him was a somber crowd of people, dressed similarly and the aura of loss and sadness hung like a heavy fog among them. One woman had done nothing but bawl into a handkerchief as her husband gently guided her by her elbow.
He looked back at the crowd and decided it was time, time to spread her ashes as she had wanted. How fast had the ceremony and cremation gone, only this morning and yet the noon sun was shining fiercely upon them all sweltering them in playful heat. As if the world was saying that it was all a joke, that there's no way there could be a funeral on a beautiful day like this. But there was, and it was a curious one at that.
"I feel a part of the ocean, so let me fly over it and let me become a part of it."
Those were the very last words she said when she heard her fate. Her last words about her future anyway, other than the regret of a life too soon ended and the endless string of 'I love you.' Everything had changed for both of them, and yet, here he was alone holding the weight of the world on his shoulders, unknowingly and unwittingly feeling more fragile and alone that he ever thought was possible.
He approached two people that he met three times before, her parents. It was a bit awkward as he came closer to the sobbing mother, and the comforting father. She bawled into her handkerchief while her husband stroked her hand, and gently patted her back from time to time. The tears were streaming down her face, now grown with age, but it was a kind face, one that had seen the life and worth in her daughter that had died less than a week ago.
Had it been a week, he thought. Everything just blurred right past him the days becoming one long chain of events, and his consciousness not separating anything more significant than a change of his own life. His boss had heard the news and gave him time off, but it was maddening him and he came back to work, against the requests of everyone he knew. But that's all he knew he could do for now, to keep himself occupied, since it was all still surreal. Even now, he thought, I can't believe she's gone.
"It's time," he stated sorrowfully, and he motioned for her urn. The urn that was filled less than three hours ago with her remains, and her mother burst out sobbing even louder among the crowd. Her father had tightened his face, as if there was nothing more painful he had ever experienced in his life, but he remained silent and strong for his wife's sake and not so much his own.
"This is for you," he whispered to the blowing wind. And gently, he uncovered the urn holding the ashes of his cremated fiance, took a small handful and tossed it into the breezing wind that swept over the bay and far far far into the endless sapphire expanse.
One by one, each attendant in black took a handful, whispered their goodbyes, wishes, aspirations, sorrows, and wisdom to themselves, and released her to the earth. And one by one they each turned and got into their cars to drive off.
B1:C2
"Stephanie, baby, it's gonna be alright" whispered Jake lips trembling, looking at his love deep in her dark brown eyes, and hold her hands.
"Jake, what's in your hand?"
"What?" He had forgotten that he was holding the engagement ring in his hand and hers at the same time. "It's something I've wanted to give you for a long time, but I knew you weren't ready."
"Jake, what is it?" Stephanie whispered thru tightened lips.
"It's an engagement ring baby," he said, "you don't know how long I've been waiting for the perfect time to propose to you."
"What's happening to me Jake? I love you, I love you so much, Jake, but. I think I'm dying. I can't accept it, I can't be with you, I can't marry you, not now, not like this."
"Jake, what's in your hand?"
"What?" He had forgotten that he was holding the engagement ring in his hand and hers at the same time. "It's something I've wanted to give you for a long time, but I knew you weren't ready."
"Jake, what is it?" Stephanie whispered thru tightened lips.
"It's an engagement ring baby," he said, "you don't know how long I've been waiting for the perfect time to propose to you."
"What's happening to me Jake? I love you, I love you so much, Jake, but. I think I'm dying. I can't accept it, I can't be with you, I can't marry you, not now, not like this."
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
B1:C1 So Cold
The call came in around 3:23 AM, I had gotten home around 9 o'clock and she had already went out for pre-club drinks with the girls. Tired from a long day of work, I had settled for leftovers from the Chinese restaurant from yesterday and crashed in our bed. What was the last thing I said to her? I can't even remember.
My cellphone was ringing, the tone piercing throughout the silent apartment and I was shrugging off the grogginess. What time was it? It's 3:23, I thought as I picked up my phone and mumbled a confused hello into the receiver. What they said next, I can't even remember if it was a man or a woman, had my blood run cold, they mentioned a car accident, drunk, and in critical condition, and asked me to come down to Queen's Medical, the prominent hospital in Hawai'i. I hung up. It was 3:25. In two minutes, my whole life felt as it fell apart, and I rushed to get get my keys and wallet, and ran out the door.
God damn it, I thought, could this elevator be any slower? True, I was on the 15th floor, but still, it was taking incredibly long to get to the garage. Every second that ticked away, felt as if my soul was fading away, my body covered in a cold sweat, and my hands shaking in fear, something I had never felt before. What was the last thing I had said to her? What had she said to me? I reached the garage and sprinted as fast I could to my car, and speedily reversed out of the stall and into the dark streets on Honolulu. The hospital was 10 minutes away and as I made my way thru the darkness, I happened to hit every red light. Cursing out loud, I hit the OFF on my radio, playing that annoying Ke$sha song yet again, and parked in front of the hospital, running inside, and asking where critical care was.
The nurse there, was frightened, and probably thought I was crazy, but I didn't care, I needed to see her, to see her before... Before the worst might happen. She calmly told me instructions on how to get there, and I burst into a run, turning and turning, until I found the elevators and stairs. Opting for the stairs I took leaps and a time, until I made it to the 5th floor, slamming open the door, and taking off down the hall, where I met another nurse at a desk. I quickly blurted I was looking for Briggs, Stephanie, she was in a car accident, I don't know when, she's in critical care, I need to see her. And all I got was a "calm down sir, I'm looking right now." I can't calm down, I need to see her, I need to let her know everything's gonna be okay. "She's in room 517, this way sir." I blurted a thank you, although I'm sure she didn't seem to care, and led me briskly down the hall.
517. Room 517 is where she was laying down in the darkness. She was strapped to a respirator, and all this other equipment I didn't know. I asked the nurse to get me a doctor, or someone who could answer my questions, and she left me silently, with a "I'll be right back." Silence enveloped me, as I looked upon her, she was in the black dress that I always liked, covered with a hospital blanket from her breasts down, her dark brown hair curled elegantly, though now, her curls were beginning to give way, her hair always did that, I thought and smiled. I took steps closer, and it was as if my weight doubled with each step, a knot in my stomach kept twisting, and it was getting harder to breathe. Her eyes were closed, but I could still see her make-up on her face, the one that I got her for our one year anniversary from M.A.C., she loved it so much, God, she looked so beautiful. A couple more steps, and I looked at her, and I couldn't hold it in any longer, tears started to roll down my face, the warmth helping to ease this coldness I felt inside. On her right arm was her tag, Briggs, Stephanie, 23, F, it said, and I gasped, the shallowness of my breaths began to take a hold of me, and there was a pain that I couldn't describe haunting my soul in that room. That damn room 517. Three more steps. Two more steps. One step. I was by her side in the darkness, and I reached my right hand out to gently rub hers, she was so cold, or was it just me? I'm not sure how long I spent in that room with her alone, but it felt like an eternity of hell that I hated. In that damn room, she was lying helplessly, and I was standing helplessly, with no idea what had happened and what will happen.
I heard the distant footsteps of two people walking quickly to the room, it was the nurse that I sent away earlier, and a doctor, I assumed Stephanie's, but I wasn't sure. He was an Asian man, of short stature, but the weathered look of experience was written all over his face. How many traumas had he seen in his career at the hospital, in his life? Had he ever been called in the morning at 3:23 to devastating news I thought, not that it mattered, I just wanted to know some answers.
"Hello doctor," I croaked, surprised at the lack of strength in my voice. "My name is Jake Lucas, and I'm Steph's boyfriend. I got a call earlier, and I just wanna know, what the hell happened?"
"Jake, I'm sorry about all of this. I'm Doctor Chida, and Stephanie Briggs was in an accident tonight. She came into the ER with multiple broken bones, and a heavily lacerated liver and near-destroyed kidneys with her friends, though they suffered no serious damage..."
"I don't care about them, tell me about Steph!!" I growled, and in truth, I didn't care for her friends, they were always stupid and vain, always looking for the next damn rush. And to think, they didn't even have a scratch when Steph was lying here like this.
"Right right, I'm sorry," he muttered. "Anyway, Stephanie had consumed a lot of alcohol tonight, and when we found out about her kidneys, we put her on dialysis to keep her alive, but the problem is that she needs a new kidney and liver. Does she drink a lot?"
"Yeah, kinda" I said, "she likes to party, why, what's wrong with that?"
"Her excessive drinking heavily damaged her liver, and without a liver transplant, she'll die before the sun rises. I'm sorry Mr. Lucas, but there is no way we can get her a new liver."
"What do you mean? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? This is a hospital! You're supposed to save lives here! Why can't you save her? What do you mean you don't have a liver for her? You've gotta be kidding me right? This is all a damn joke!"
"Mr. Lucas," interjected the nurse, "there are other people here, and they are recovering, please try and keep your voice down."
"The hell I will! Not until this bastard tells me why he can't save Steph!" I barked.
Dr. Chida looked at me solemnly, and very quietly looked me in the eye and said "Mr. Lucas. I'm sorry, but, we've done all we can. Because she came here and we performed all the surgery we could on her liver, and despite out attempts for her to regain consciousness, as well as the search for a viable liver transplant, there is nothing we can do. If it was just her kidneys, we could've kept her on dialysis until there was a match, or someone with her blood-type was willing to donate one of their kidneys, but the fact is that there are no more options to save her life. I'm sorry Mr. Lucas."
I felt the tears well up inside, I was not a soft or emotional man, but, hearing this, that Steph was confined to a death sentence, prominent in three or four hours, I couldn't hold it back. Everything just seemed to blur around me. The nurse, Jackie, pulled over a chair so I could sit by her side, while Dr. Chida shook his head in apology. As he started to leave, I asked him, if there was anything I could do. With the saddest look in his dark brown eyes that peered thru the darkness, he shook his head again, and filled the room with a heavy somber. Jackie left too, I don't know how long she stayed, but she let me know I could stay there as long as I wanted.
And I would, I wasn't going to leave her side. I wasn't going to leave the love of my life to die alone, but there was something I didn't know. Would she wake up before she passed? I wanted to say goodbye to her, and I wanted her to hear it. I wanted to tell her everything that I felt for her, and how I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Remembering something, I took out my wallet, and hidden away in there, was a secret that I had kept from her. Delicately from one of the slits in the leather, I pulled out an engagement ring, one that I had bought over a year ago, but I was saving for the right time to give it to her. I started to cry again, and gradually sobbed, as I held her cold hand in my left and the ring in my right.
It was nearly sunrise, 4:56 AM, and I hadn't moved. Instead, I looked at her graceful eyes, when Jackie came in, doing her rounds. She came, and patted me on the shoulder before fixing up her blanket, and checking Steph's vitals.
"Jackie..." I said.
"Yes?"
"Do you think she'll wake up before she goes?"
"I don't know Mr. Lucas," she said apologetically. "In cases like these, the surgery needs anesthesia, and it takes a while for the patient to wake up, there's no telling for sure though," she added as my face began to crunch in pain. "Don't worry sugar, I'm sure you'll get to say goodbye."
"Mmm."
"Stephanie!?" I cried, jolting up to my seat and running over to her face. "Steph, baby, are you ok?"
"Jake? Is that... Is that you? Where am I? It hurts Jake." she sobbed, her face contorting in hurt, and I felt my heart get heavy watching her cry. "Where am I? What happened?"
"Baby, it's gonna be ok. You were in a car accident baby, and you got really hurt."
"Jake. Oh my God Jake, I love you. I love you Jake," Stephanie sobbed as the tears rolled down her face, and she grabbed my hands. "It's so sore Jake, and it's so cold."
My cellphone was ringing, the tone piercing throughout the silent apartment and I was shrugging off the grogginess. What time was it? It's 3:23, I thought as I picked up my phone and mumbled a confused hello into the receiver. What they said next, I can't even remember if it was a man or a woman, had my blood run cold, they mentioned a car accident, drunk, and in critical condition, and asked me to come down to Queen's Medical, the prominent hospital in Hawai'i. I hung up. It was 3:25. In two minutes, my whole life felt as it fell apart, and I rushed to get get my keys and wallet, and ran out the door.
God damn it, I thought, could this elevator be any slower? True, I was on the 15th floor, but still, it was taking incredibly long to get to the garage. Every second that ticked away, felt as if my soul was fading away, my body covered in a cold sweat, and my hands shaking in fear, something I had never felt before. What was the last thing I had said to her? What had she said to me? I reached the garage and sprinted as fast I could to my car, and speedily reversed out of the stall and into the dark streets on Honolulu. The hospital was 10 minutes away and as I made my way thru the darkness, I happened to hit every red light. Cursing out loud, I hit the OFF on my radio, playing that annoying Ke$sha song yet again, and parked in front of the hospital, running inside, and asking where critical care was.
The nurse there, was frightened, and probably thought I was crazy, but I didn't care, I needed to see her, to see her before... Before the worst might happen. She calmly told me instructions on how to get there, and I burst into a run, turning and turning, until I found the elevators and stairs. Opting for the stairs I took leaps and a time, until I made it to the 5th floor, slamming open the door, and taking off down the hall, where I met another nurse at a desk. I quickly blurted I was looking for Briggs, Stephanie, she was in a car accident, I don't know when, she's in critical care, I need to see her. And all I got was a "calm down sir, I'm looking right now." I can't calm down, I need to see her, I need to let her know everything's gonna be okay. "She's in room 517, this way sir." I blurted a thank you, although I'm sure she didn't seem to care, and led me briskly down the hall.
517. Room 517 is where she was laying down in the darkness. She was strapped to a respirator, and all this other equipment I didn't know. I asked the nurse to get me a doctor, or someone who could answer my questions, and she left me silently, with a "I'll be right back." Silence enveloped me, as I looked upon her, she was in the black dress that I always liked, covered with a hospital blanket from her breasts down, her dark brown hair curled elegantly, though now, her curls were beginning to give way, her hair always did that, I thought and smiled. I took steps closer, and it was as if my weight doubled with each step, a knot in my stomach kept twisting, and it was getting harder to breathe. Her eyes were closed, but I could still see her make-up on her face, the one that I got her for our one year anniversary from M.A.C., she loved it so much, God, she looked so beautiful. A couple more steps, and I looked at her, and I couldn't hold it in any longer, tears started to roll down my face, the warmth helping to ease this coldness I felt inside. On her right arm was her tag, Briggs, Stephanie, 23, F, it said, and I gasped, the shallowness of my breaths began to take a hold of me, and there was a pain that I couldn't describe haunting my soul in that room. That damn room 517. Three more steps. Two more steps. One step. I was by her side in the darkness, and I reached my right hand out to gently rub hers, she was so cold, or was it just me? I'm not sure how long I spent in that room with her alone, but it felt like an eternity of hell that I hated. In that damn room, she was lying helplessly, and I was standing helplessly, with no idea what had happened and what will happen.
I heard the distant footsteps of two people walking quickly to the room, it was the nurse that I sent away earlier, and a doctor, I assumed Stephanie's, but I wasn't sure. He was an Asian man, of short stature, but the weathered look of experience was written all over his face. How many traumas had he seen in his career at the hospital, in his life? Had he ever been called in the morning at 3:23 to devastating news I thought, not that it mattered, I just wanted to know some answers.
"Hello doctor," I croaked, surprised at the lack of strength in my voice. "My name is Jake Lucas, and I'm Steph's boyfriend. I got a call earlier, and I just wanna know, what the hell happened?"
"Jake, I'm sorry about all of this. I'm Doctor Chida, and Stephanie Briggs was in an accident tonight. She came into the ER with multiple broken bones, and a heavily lacerated liver and near-destroyed kidneys with her friends, though they suffered no serious damage..."
"I don't care about them, tell me about Steph!!" I growled, and in truth, I didn't care for her friends, they were always stupid and vain, always looking for the next damn rush. And to think, they didn't even have a scratch when Steph was lying here like this.
"Right right, I'm sorry," he muttered. "Anyway, Stephanie had consumed a lot of alcohol tonight, and when we found out about her kidneys, we put her on dialysis to keep her alive, but the problem is that she needs a new kidney and liver. Does she drink a lot?"
"Yeah, kinda" I said, "she likes to party, why, what's wrong with that?"
"Her excessive drinking heavily damaged her liver, and without a liver transplant, she'll die before the sun rises. I'm sorry Mr. Lucas, but there is no way we can get her a new liver."
"What do you mean? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? This is a hospital! You're supposed to save lives here! Why can't you save her? What do you mean you don't have a liver for her? You've gotta be kidding me right? This is all a damn joke!"
"Mr. Lucas," interjected the nurse, "there are other people here, and they are recovering, please try and keep your voice down."
"The hell I will! Not until this bastard tells me why he can't save Steph!" I barked.
Dr. Chida looked at me solemnly, and very quietly looked me in the eye and said "Mr. Lucas. I'm sorry, but, we've done all we can. Because she came here and we performed all the surgery we could on her liver, and despite out attempts for her to regain consciousness, as well as the search for a viable liver transplant, there is nothing we can do. If it was just her kidneys, we could've kept her on dialysis until there was a match, or someone with her blood-type was willing to donate one of their kidneys, but the fact is that there are no more options to save her life. I'm sorry Mr. Lucas."
I felt the tears well up inside, I was not a soft or emotional man, but, hearing this, that Steph was confined to a death sentence, prominent in three or four hours, I couldn't hold it back. Everything just seemed to blur around me. The nurse, Jackie, pulled over a chair so I could sit by her side, while Dr. Chida shook his head in apology. As he started to leave, I asked him, if there was anything I could do. With the saddest look in his dark brown eyes that peered thru the darkness, he shook his head again, and filled the room with a heavy somber. Jackie left too, I don't know how long she stayed, but she let me know I could stay there as long as I wanted.
And I would, I wasn't going to leave her side. I wasn't going to leave the love of my life to die alone, but there was something I didn't know. Would she wake up before she passed? I wanted to say goodbye to her, and I wanted her to hear it. I wanted to tell her everything that I felt for her, and how I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Remembering something, I took out my wallet, and hidden away in there, was a secret that I had kept from her. Delicately from one of the slits in the leather, I pulled out an engagement ring, one that I had bought over a year ago, but I was saving for the right time to give it to her. I started to cry again, and gradually sobbed, as I held her cold hand in my left and the ring in my right.
It was nearly sunrise, 4:56 AM, and I hadn't moved. Instead, I looked at her graceful eyes, when Jackie came in, doing her rounds. She came, and patted me on the shoulder before fixing up her blanket, and checking Steph's vitals.
"Jackie..." I said.
"Yes?"
"Do you think she'll wake up before she goes?"
"I don't know Mr. Lucas," she said apologetically. "In cases like these, the surgery needs anesthesia, and it takes a while for the patient to wake up, there's no telling for sure though," she added as my face began to crunch in pain. "Don't worry sugar, I'm sure you'll get to say goodbye."
"Mmm."
"Stephanie!?" I cried, jolting up to my seat and running over to her face. "Steph, baby, are you ok?"
"Jake? Is that... Is that you? Where am I? It hurts Jake." she sobbed, her face contorting in hurt, and I felt my heart get heavy watching her cry. "Where am I? What happened?"
"Baby, it's gonna be ok. You were in a car accident baby, and you got really hurt."
"Jake. Oh my God Jake, I love you. I love you Jake," Stephanie sobbed as the tears rolled down her face, and she grabbed my hands. "It's so sore Jake, and it's so cold."
outline: a man learns how hard it is to move on from the death and loss of his beloved, despite meeting her twin sister, and she being completely different.
man: jake
dead sister: stephanie
twin sister: veronica
jake is a hardworking graduate student with a job in business living in honolulu, hawaii dating and living with his girlfriend, and soon to be fiance stephanie. jake is very much in love with stephanie and one night when she is out partying with her friends, the wild side he fell in love with one time at a bar, she gets into an accident and is killed. her friends, are injured, but no one else dies. two weeks later her funeral occurs, and her estranged sister comes as well. not knowing that stephanie and veronica were identical twins, he finds solace in asking her, what drove them apart. veronica explains that everything stephanie was, veronica wasn't, despite completely identical looking. stephanie was the party girl, the bad girl, the one who broke all the rules, and made her own. while veronica was the one was studious, had a plan, and left to pursue her dream around the world.
the theme of the story is the difficulty of moving on from someone, when they were so ingrained in your life, how love changes people, and whether to follow your dreams or follow your love.
it's told solely thru the perspective on jake for the first book, then veronica, thru the second, and intertwining the two for the third book
"It's a bitter moment when you realize that the person you fall in love with, isn't where your heart is."
man: jake
dead sister: stephanie
twin sister: veronica
jake is a hardworking graduate student with a job in business living in honolulu, hawaii dating and living with his girlfriend, and soon to be fiance stephanie. jake is very much in love with stephanie and one night when she is out partying with her friends, the wild side he fell in love with one time at a bar, she gets into an accident and is killed. her friends, are injured, but no one else dies. two weeks later her funeral occurs, and her estranged sister comes as well. not knowing that stephanie and veronica were identical twins, he finds solace in asking her, what drove them apart. veronica explains that everything stephanie was, veronica wasn't, despite completely identical looking. stephanie was the party girl, the bad girl, the one who broke all the rules, and made her own. while veronica was the one was studious, had a plan, and left to pursue her dream around the world.
the theme of the story is the difficulty of moving on from someone, when they were so ingrained in your life, how love changes people, and whether to follow your dreams or follow your love.
it's told solely thru the perspective on jake for the first book, then veronica, thru the second, and intertwining the two for the third book
"It's a bitter moment when you realize that the person you fall in love with, isn't where your heart is."
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